Mardi Star
2009-08-13, 12:57 a.m.
This is the story of how a girl was set free, by the kindness of strangers and the unrelenting overcoming of difficulties, both large and small. It is a story that needs to be told because there is hope out there for everyone to cling on to, to find a smile behind a tear, a life outside a box. This is a story of a girl discovering her real destiny despite the odds, a story of a girl now living in a world that exists over and beyond the rim of the world from which she started. This new world, full to brim of excitement and love, happy days and comfortable nights is where at last she is at peace. I suppose I should start when she had made the journey before the real journey, because it was almost as beautiful as her new world.
The girl stood at the edge of the valley, the sun casting a long shadow stretching from her feet. She was lost in her thoughts, thoughts of loneliness and an attempt not to feel scared. She shifted her weight and her shadow mirrored her movements. No matter how alone she felt, she would always have her shadow. A wild impulse to run down into the fields below came over her, to try and outrun her shadow, to leave everything about her past behind. But that was a stupid childish thought and Ada had never felt less like a child in her life. Instead of running, she slowly picked her way down the slope, walking on towards the direction where she assumed the sea laid. The afternoon was hot and she wished she had some water, but that was just another longing that wouldn’t be fulfilled easily. Ada wasn’t familiar with the landscape, so she wasn’t even sure she was going the right way, but something was telling her to carry on. She had already travelled miles from her home town in Bedfordshire, moving north. Ada was travelling by herself and so far she had only encountered a few nosey busybodies who had wanted to know her business. She was twelve but looked more like fourteen. She used the excuse that her family were down the road and she had just wandered off to find a toilet. Ada hadn’t changed this story, despite being in different towns; she knew that it was hard to keep track of lies, especially if you piled fresh ones on top that could confuse you. Her story had held and the nosey parkers had left her alone after leaving her with a queer look in their eyes and directions to the nearest public loos.
Ada’s mousey blonde hair, cut short and practical was now a mess of tufts sticking out at odd angles from her scalp from where she had continually been pushing it from her sweaty forehead. She found herself doing it more when she was nervous, and it was a habit she would have to quit if she didn’t want anymore interference. Ada once read somewhere that freedom could be frightening if you have never felt it, but walking among the overgrown grass, she felt as if she had slipped into a pool of peace, the calming waters covering her head, her hair wet, but not from sticky sweat. Except she was hot. She had tried to roll up her long sleeves but they only rolled up so much; and Ada was still so self conscious even though there wasn’t anyone around to see her. The truth about Ada was that she had Vitiligo, a condition which meant patches of her skin were whiter than the rest. She had been told that they weren’t even that noticeable but they were all she could ever see when she looked at herself in the mirror. They were part of the reason why she was making this journey away from where she had grown up; she wanted to know more than the answers given to her by the children’s home. She thought back to her experiences there, some good, some nightmarish.
Children taunting, the names swirling inside her head and she felt as if her head would burst, the tugs of their grubby, snatching fingers pulling on her long blonde hair, pulling and sticking gum, laughing. She was falling, slipping, unable to breathe; there was pressure on her chest, suffocating her…
Ada brought herself back to the present with a gasp. She was hot and her thirst was making it hard to swallow; she knew she would have to find something to drink soon. She hoped there was a little stream in this lush valley that she could drink from. She would dunk her whole head right in, and shake her hair like Toby, the dog from next door. She did shake her head, trying to get rid of the thoughts of the only home she had ever known, a home she didn’t want to think about in case she lost her nerve and wanted to go back. Ada did think about Jude the owner, she wondered if he knew she was missing and if he had called the police.
Ada continued to walk and she saw with delight that she was nearing an opening between two huge hills; she wasn’t entirely sure where she was, as geography had never been her strong point. But she didn’t mind because it was beautiful, probably the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Ada hoped that the sea would be even more striking. She hadn’t seen that either. Ada had often thought that it had called to her, on the nights when she struggled to sleep. She had always felt different, but had nobody to confide in; and now she had taken her destiny into her own hands. Ada knew there was no one out there to rescue her. She had always been alone. As she approached the gap she decided to take a rest in the cool shadows, at least for a bit. She found a comfortable enough spot and sat with her back resting on a mossy rock, she closed her eyes and listened to the sounds all around her; the crickets in the grass, the birds calling from far away. She was once again in her pool of peace.
She was woken by something wet and snuffly touching her face and brow. Ada was completely disorientated and did no even attempt to fend off the intruder.
“‘Allo” A voice said from above her. She opened her eyes, scared about what she was going to see. Maybe it was the police, maybe they had found her?
“ ‘Afternoon” The voice spoke again, quieter this time; as if it had realised she was now awake. It was a lot darker than when she had first sat down, she imagined it was early evening, the sun probably hanging low in the sky. Ada looked up and saw a squat man, kindly looking with hairy ears and an even hairier nose. He had a flat cap on, at the jaunty angle, and clothes that looked like they hadn’t been properly washed in years. He didn’t smell bad, so Ada assumed they were just his mucky clothes. Ada’s were a pair of blue dungarees. She managed a smile.
“I see you met our Fred” he said, pointing down at the snuffly wet thing. She followed the direction of his finger and saw a collie dog looking her straight in the eyes. “he’s harmless enough.” The man called the dog to him.
“I like dogs” Ada had said it, without even thinking. She couldn’t believe she was here talking to a stranger but it had been so long since she last had a proper conversation, with a real human being, that she just couldn’t help herself, and anyways he seemed nice enough. There wasn’t anything she could do about it, even if he wasn’t. But she reasoned that a horrible man wouldn’t have such a beautiful dog, which looked so happy.
“Those that don’t, wouldn’t know real love if it bit them on the nose.” he replied, smiling at her. She returned the smile and tried to get up. “No don’t stand; you look worn through, rest up awhile. I was just walking through here to get back to my house.” Fred wagged his tail as if he knew exactly what this meant. “Why don’t you come back to the farm with me? My wife makes the best cocoa in these hills; she can rustle up a mean supper.” She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to go anywhere with a stranger but she was hungry and she was thirsty more than ever. He seemed to read her dilemma on her face. “Say you walk behind me, and I will get Martha to come down to the gate to speak with you when we get back. She could even bring the food out to you, so you won’t even have to come up to the house. My given name is Alan Pangborn” He smiled and she giggled as his thick eyebrows rose up comically. He extended a hand and she grabbed it happily.
“I’m Ada.”
The walk down to the house was filled with silence; but it was the most comfortable silence Ada had ever found herself in. Slowly, the sun was falling out of the sky and Ada watched how her shadow was growing, and she hoped it didn’t think she didn’t need it anymore. Alan had to help her across some difficult stretches of land, where the ground was uneven or covered by a carpet of stinging nettles. It wasn’t long before lights from the house came into view, and Fred yapped excitedly, but they still trudged along in silence. They reached the fence enclosing the Pangborn’s property and Alan was true to his word and left her standing by the gate. She wasn’t waiting long, when she saw a woman with long hair hanging to her waist walking towards her with a tray; like Alan she had a kindly face and Ada was not afraid. She sat on the ground eating the food she had been given, trying not to look up at the woman. When she had finished, the woman said, “Ada it is getting late, would you let me put you up, temporarily? I can’t see you sleeping out here tonight, there’s a chill in the air.” Ada agreed because she was getting tired. Alan’s wife, who introduced herself as Katherine, walked her towards the house carrying the empty tray. Ada spent the night in the Pangborn’s spare room, her sleep was deep but she dreamed of the sea, and the details were more vivid to her.
The next morning, Alan and Katherine were waiting for her at the breakfast table. She didn’t know where to look but accepted the food they served to her, and she was thankful because it was delicious. After she had eaten all she could, she said “I have to leave today, I have to move on.” Alan looked at her, with his crinkly smiling eyes and scratched one of his bushy eyebrows,
“I know.”
She stared at him, not sure whether he was just saying it to be polite, she had no response. “And before you say anything, I want to help you, which is why I’ve arranged for young Bill down the road to take you to where you’re heading. He will take you anywhere, but I told him to take you on the horses.” She blinked, but he just smiled. “It might take longer but it will be an adventure for you, and besides they do love trotting along on the sand, it gives their poor feet a rest.”
“Sand?” she ventured weakly.
“Yes, sand. You’re going towards the sea aint you?” He scratched the other eyebrow now, as if he was confused.
“Well – I – I would like to, yes. How did you know?” she said.
“Oh well, that’s mighty fine,” he looked relieved, “and I’m not rightly sure, Kath reminded me last night before bed that I’d told her of a strange dream I had, well, it was a few months back now and the details are all fuzzy, but she said that I had dreamed that someone would come to me for help and that they needed to go north, as far as the land will take them.” He had lit a pipe as he smoke, and he sat puffing away, contemplating. “Of course, you’re not what I would have been expecting; you’re only a little ‘un.” He finished smoking and stood up abruptly. “Well that’s neither there nor here… Bill will be waiting.” Katherine held out an old leather holdall to Ada, who took it without question.
“There is food in there, and clothes to keep warm. Bill has money to pay for lodgings on the way; you won’t need to sleep rough again. But remember to wash.” Katherine said. The Pangborn’s walked silently to the front door, and just as Alan had promised, there was Bill waiting, with two beautiful dark glossy horses, nearly twice the size of Ada.
“Friesians” Alan murmured. Fred was running excitedly near the two horses which paid him no heed, except to swish their tails lazily. After three attempts and a lot of help from Alan, Ada finally found herself seated upon a horse, for the first time ever. It felt strange but also like it was something she had done before, like fitting a glove onto a forgotten hand.
“Goodbye, thank you for everything, I don’t know how to thank you” she said, calling down.
“‘Luck, call again someday if you ever come back this way, that will be thanks enough.” Alan replied and was silent. With a few instructions from Bill they were soon off at a slow walk, heading towards the horizon. Ada glanced at the floor and followed her shadow, now much bigger and prouder than she had ever seen it before.